Dr.Jass
Pastor of Muppets
The lazy man's way to kill yourself with insanely-hot Cajun food.
I deviated from my normal jambalaya recipe because I was in a hurry, and instead started right off with Zatarain's jambalaya mix.
Prepare as directed. While there's still considerable water in the pan, add 1/2tsp paprika.
For meat, I used 1.5lbs medium-hot Italian sausage and a couple strips of bacon, cooked and crumbled.
At about 10 minutes' simmer, add 2 tablespoons ground cayenne pepper (no, I'm not kidding--that's how much I used).
When you reach the 15-minute mark, add 1.5 tablespoons Mad Dog Inferno hot sauce, or something else in the 150,000-scoville* range. Mad Dog Inferno has a great taste--almost like a steak sauce until your taste buds evaporate. It works wonders in jambalaya, even if used moderately (about 1/4 teaspoon will make it too hot for most folks). Mix it in well and give it a few extra minutes simmering time.
Be forewarned: this recipe is insanely hot. I'm used to this stuff, and I was reduced, after drinking 4 beers, 4 Diet Cokes, and a quart of milk, to literally drinking half a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch to try and calm my mouth. I walked outside in 75-degree weather and was shivering. If you have acid reflux, heartburn, or any other gastrointestinal maladies, this will unequivocally kick your ass, and not just for a few minutes. If you have a heart condition, it might kill you. If you think Wendy's Spicy Chicken sandwich, Taco Bell's Volcano Nachos, or straight Tabasco poured on your tongue are hot, you haven't a snowball's chance in hell against a recipe like this.
Stretch, normally my partner in crime where intensely-hot food is concerned, lasted 3 bites at lunchtime yesterday before declaring he would not finish it without a six-pack of beer by his side. I wasn't there, but my boss and my outside sales guy both were, and later related to me the reactions. That includes the reaction of Stretch himself, who I'm told said something to the effect of "How can he even eat stuff like this?" His co-worker Joe, who likes to play tough but was apparently so wrecked by eating one small piece of sausage that he wanted to go home, actually called in sick this morning. He later claimed he went to the hospital and had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Apparently, they can make that diagnosis in an hour these days; 18 months ago it took considerably longer as I recall.
Regardless, what I'm told Joe said after about a minute was, "Jesus Christ! How can you people do this to yourselves?!"
I ate 3/4 of a quart of the stuff at around the same time Stretch was trying the small tub I'd sent to him before I ran out of stomach space due to downing water, Diet Coke, and milk. I finished out my shift just fine, came home, and had some more for dinner along with a salad. I did not develop any long-term syndromes, but straight-up the stuff is off-the-hook hot.
You're either built for it, or your not. If you are, likely you're the only one around you who'll want to be around whilst cooking it. It's good stuff!
* If you're not familiar with the Scoville system, it's how heat or spiciness is rated in peppers and hot sauces. A green bell pepper is zero. Regular Tabasco sauce is about 3,500; a truly-hot jalapeno is around 5,000. To get the same heat using Tabasco, you'd mathematically need almost 29 tablespoons of it in lieu of the Mad Dog; real-world you'd need quite a bit more.
I deviated from my normal jambalaya recipe because I was in a hurry, and instead started right off with Zatarain's jambalaya mix.
Prepare as directed. While there's still considerable water in the pan, add 1/2tsp paprika.
For meat, I used 1.5lbs medium-hot Italian sausage and a couple strips of bacon, cooked and crumbled.
At about 10 minutes' simmer, add 2 tablespoons ground cayenne pepper (no, I'm not kidding--that's how much I used).
When you reach the 15-minute mark, add 1.5 tablespoons Mad Dog Inferno hot sauce, or something else in the 150,000-scoville* range. Mad Dog Inferno has a great taste--almost like a steak sauce until your taste buds evaporate. It works wonders in jambalaya, even if used moderately (about 1/4 teaspoon will make it too hot for most folks). Mix it in well and give it a few extra minutes simmering time.
Be forewarned: this recipe is insanely hot. I'm used to this stuff, and I was reduced, after drinking 4 beers, 4 Diet Cokes, and a quart of milk, to literally drinking half a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch to try and calm my mouth. I walked outside in 75-degree weather and was shivering. If you have acid reflux, heartburn, or any other gastrointestinal maladies, this will unequivocally kick your ass, and not just for a few minutes. If you have a heart condition, it might kill you. If you think Wendy's Spicy Chicken sandwich, Taco Bell's Volcano Nachos, or straight Tabasco poured on your tongue are hot, you haven't a snowball's chance in hell against a recipe like this.
Stretch, normally my partner in crime where intensely-hot food is concerned, lasted 3 bites at lunchtime yesterday before declaring he would not finish it without a six-pack of beer by his side. I wasn't there, but my boss and my outside sales guy both were, and later related to me the reactions. That includes the reaction of Stretch himself, who I'm told said something to the effect of "How can he even eat stuff like this?" His co-worker Joe, who likes to play tough but was apparently so wrecked by eating one small piece of sausage that he wanted to go home, actually called in sick this morning. He later claimed he went to the hospital and had been diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Apparently, they can make that diagnosis in an hour these days; 18 months ago it took considerably longer as I recall.
Regardless, what I'm told Joe said after about a minute was, "Jesus Christ! How can you people do this to yourselves?!"I ate 3/4 of a quart of the stuff at around the same time Stretch was trying the small tub I'd sent to him before I ran out of stomach space due to downing water, Diet Coke, and milk. I finished out my shift just fine, came home, and had some more for dinner along with a salad. I did not develop any long-term syndromes, but straight-up the stuff is off-the-hook hot.
You're either built for it, or your not. If you are, likely you're the only one around you who'll want to be around whilst cooking it. It's good stuff!
* If you're not familiar with the Scoville system, it's how heat or spiciness is rated in peppers and hot sauces. A green bell pepper is zero. Regular Tabasco sauce is about 3,500; a truly-hot jalapeno is around 5,000. To get the same heat using Tabasco, you'd mathematically need almost 29 tablespoons of it in lieu of the Mad Dog; real-world you'd need quite a bit more.
