What a bastard

Nick

Nick

Nancy "AssPump"
I'm making this post against my better judgment because I really think that someone on here might be able to offer me some legit advise. someone that i love very much has a problem with alcohol and i said something nicely about it about 2 months ago but was obviously not taken seriously. so, last night i got sick of watching this person do significant harm and i tried to be as polite as i could but i wound up losing my temper and really raising my voice after 2 hours of being nice. the problem is that i don't know where to go from here! i feel that a relationship has really been destroyed and i don't know where to start a repair if it's even possible. well.. if anyone can help me out, i would love to heed some advice. this person really is important to me and the last thing that i wanted to do was push them out of my life but i'm sure that's exactly what i did. i almost feel guilty for trying so hard to help.

thanks all
 
After being married to an alcoholic, I might be qualified to offer some insight.

The only things that are really important to an alcoholic is the alcohol itself and their "troop" of enablers, which includes their "drinking buddies" Friendships and loved ones be damned. The alcohol consumes their lives.
No one can help them unless they truely want to be helped and talking to them when they drink is useless. Your best shot would be to talk to them when they are sober and talk "from the heart". Tell them you love them and you don't want to watch them destroy their life. Tell them that you will be at their side to get help. But if they don't get help, you refuse to stand by and watch them continue to destroy themself. And stick to your words. If you don't, you are just another enabler.

There's a slim chance that this will help because most alcoholics are in denial. But, hopefully it will show them that you care and it might make them a little less likely to reject you and your advice.

Each one needs to hit their "bottom", and everyone has a different "bottom"

Just maybe the possibility of losing your friendship will be their "bottom"........but not likely.

Good luck with it, it's a difficult battle to deal with an alcoholic. :(
 
well.. i've already covered those ideas. i appreciate you're advice 68, and i did tell them that i loved them dearly and the reason why i'm talking is because i care so much. it's really hard to tell a parent that you can't stand back and watch them kill themselves.

why can't she just be a pot head?
 
I'm making this post against my better judgment also.

From the other side of the fence, I don't have a problem with alcohol, but my
(check all that apply)
1. wife
2. husband
3. sister
4. brother
5. son
6. daughter
7. father
8. mother
9. Friend
10. all of the above

have a problem with my alcohol.

(I just wrote about 3 paragraphs here but erased them)

In short, we aren't going to change until we see a problem.

Maby you can influence that unamed person in your life that you care about, so don't give up, just avoid being used like 68R/T said.

Good luck,
 
Who give you the right to call yourself a Bastard? Your not . you love a person so dont say that again.... i wont let friends call themselves that WHY? i quit 31 years ago BECAUSE- i am an alcaholic fancy name or a drunk----- do the best thing you can do --- go to AL-ANON... get the phone book and phone A/A. you will get an answering service. and ask for AL-ANON. this will be the best move you can make. Start going to meetings . you are no different than anyone else. you will be scared to go because you will think your loved one will leave. AL-ANON will show you how and what to do. IT WORKS . it is there for you. once you understand then A/A will look good and your loved one will go. but that can take time. AL-ANON will help. Trust me. it really does work. it takes guts and you have it. it takes guts to go -because you love that person and it takes guts to quit because you love that person. i dont say this lightly. if it wasnt for a friend who asked me a question i might not be here . it was not my wife who started me on this journey of sobriety she came later a year later in fact and she became an A/A widow because i wanted it that bad. we all are not like that. some others take more time and others take longer and others catch on quicker. me it took a while. but then you all know what i am like . i have joked about it and it,s down fall and we all laugh but that is me i have to laugh at it because if i dont it would make you cry . so i understand. it will take time . but LOVE does win out. believe me if it was not for a friend and his love as a friend who i know had a hard time i wouldnt have even thot about it. he said the prayer at my wedding dinner. THAT STILL BLOWS ME AWAY. and it was a dry wedding and we had fun. it will all come together.you will find out a lot of things and you will find out that you have what it takes to do it. the only persons that can stop you is you . so get the phone book and look up A/A and dial. and when you do you will already have had success.. PM me if you need help and i commend you highly for reaching out --THAT in itself takes guts. please let me know how it goes. i will walk with you every step of the way if you want.. Ed....been there :helpme::)
 
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I've know quite a few people who drank themselves to death and a few who doped themselves to death. You can't stop them, they have to decide to stop. You can get some counseling on 'becoming at peace with it', then at least you won't hate the person for it.
 
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