gomopar440
Livin' my life...one gas station at a time.
• My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.
• I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Nyquil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
• Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
• Procrastinate Now!
• Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
• They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
• A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory on your computer.
• Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.
• The trouble with life is there's no background music.
• I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
• Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Nyquil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
• Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
• Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it.
• Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
• Procrastinate Now!
• Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
• They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
• He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
• A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory on your computer.
• Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.
• The trouble with life is there's no background music.