Stretch
Hey! There’s no easy button for a body like this!
The economy is so bad that:
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
I bought a toaster-oven and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, maintenance increases, etc.,
I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told
them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked me if I could drive a truck.
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can no longer afford batteries.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
I bought a toaster-oven and my free gift was a bank.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island Casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my
savings, Social Security, retirement funds, maintenance increases, etc.,
I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told
them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked me if I could drive a truck.
