BootHead
Well-known member
no, that's not the joke
here it is.
A little something to pass on to all the shaved chest/legs boys out there:
1. If you are over 40 and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet...Nancy-pants.
2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaaming homo.
A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never
scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and
whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog: 'Killer, come
here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call
a
cat: 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord.
A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and
undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship.
A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as queer as a $3
bill. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte.'
If
you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different
types of dessert other than ice cream and pie,
you might as well be handing
out free ass passes.
A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is,
you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or
denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle.
A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to
cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the
radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you do not send
this off to all the males on your email list because
you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are definitely on the
verge on being a fudge packer.
here it is.
A little something to pass on to all the shaved chest/legs boys out there:
1. If you are over 40 and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
diet...Nancy-pants.
2. If you have a cat, you are a flaaaaming homo.
A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never
scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and
whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog: 'Killer, come
here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call
a
cat: 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be
framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord.
A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish
guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and
undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship.
A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as queer as a $3
bill. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte.'
If
you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different
types of dessert other than ice cream and pie,
you might as well be handing
out free ass passes.
A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that
crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is,
you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or
denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle.
A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to
cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the
radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you do not send
this off to all the males on your email list because
you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are definitely on the
verge on being a fudge packer.
:toot:
