Santa

giowest

Well-known member
Santa's Stressful Day...

Not long ago, and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular elves. As you can imagine, Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit, and this stressed Santa even more. Next, when Santa went to harness the reindeer, he discovered that three of them were about to give birth. As if that were not bad enough, two other reindeer had jumped the fence, and he had no idea where they could have gone. This led to more and more stress! As he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. By this time, totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found that the elves had been in the whiskey and there was nothing left for him to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces that scattered all over the kitchen floor. This sent him in search of the broom. That is when he discovered mice had eaten the straw from the broom. Just then, the doorbell rang and Santa mumbled and grumbled his way to the door. He opened the door and there stood a little angel with a huge Christmas tree. The angel said, "Where would you like to put this tree, Fat Man?"
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And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree!!!
 
Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on TV. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their TV set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they
wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the TV, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his
crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead." [smilie=e:
 

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