Prison vs work

[XRuland]

IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.

Have a Great Day at WORK. [smilie=e:

 

[Plum Crazy]

[smilie=r:

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.

As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.


I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.


This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck! He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.

Be strong, honey, I love you, too."

[b]Hmmm, you get screwed at work too![/b][smilie=e: