Dr.Jass
Pastor of Muppets
...or drunks, or drug addicts, or wife-beaters.
I got back to the hoosegow on Monday to find a write-up posted on the wall. It seems one of the corrections officers (COs) found some chewing tobacco in the bathroom garbage can, which led to a search. The search turned up a baggie of chew hidden under the bathroom sink. At the bottom of the write-up sheet was written, "NO WORK RELEASE PENDING INVESTIGATION."
In other words, no one goes to work until we find the responsible party.
Of course, nobody wanted to fess up to the crime because they'd lose two days' good-behavior time as well as a day of work release, so the top dog's decision was that nobody would leave. Then, one kid tried to take responsibility, and even though he had brought in tobacco, they would not accept his confession because he's a skinny 17-year-old and they felt he'd been bullied into it. Same thing happened when another young, skinny guy tried to fess up, and you got it--he'd actually brought some in as well.
Since no one big, strong, and older would admit to it, nobody got to go to work yesterday, myself included. Because yesterday was the day after a paid holiday, and I was scheduled to work, I not only lost yesterday's wages, but I will not be paid for New Year's Day either. I will not make overtime this Saturday, either. So, someone else's cowardice cost me over $300 in pay.
Also, the lieutenant decided that since no one would confess or rat out the offenders, he'd just take the two days' good behavior from everyone, again, myself included. You know how you feel when you watch a useless video, and say "There goes two minutes I'll never get back?" Yeah, well, it's two days for me... and I had nothing to do with any of this.
Now, I smoke. I also realize that the Dickinson County Jail is a tobacco-free facility and that being the case, well, I'm just gonna have to suffer on the days I don't work. I've never partaken of tobacco someone else smuggled into the jail. The reason is two-fold: A) I want to do my time and get the hell out ASAP, and B) I know how they smuggle it and want no part of something that's been in someone's rectum. Those are the same reasons I've never smuggled it myself, Part B being modified to "I have to much pride and self-worth to stick something up my ass."
Obvious question: Why didn't I rat them out? Primarily because the only two guys I could absolutely say had anything to do with smuggling were the two that attempted to confess and were rejected. However, if you've ever been in jail, you probably know how well snitches are treated, and I still have a couple weeks left, during which time I'd like to avoid cold water thrown on me in the shower, blanket parties, and midnight smack-downs in the bathroom.
The real bitch of it, of course, is that they're going to search continually for the remainder of the time I'm in jail. There was talk this morning that some of the guys were talking last night about smuggling more in today and tomorrow. See, to some of these assholes who have no good time coming and have several months left anyhow, it's funny to fuck up the other guys. So, odds are better than even that I'll miss more work (my boss is going to crucify me) and lose even more good-behavior time for something in which I've had no part.
Am I furious? You bet your last fuckin' dollar... and I can't do a damned thing about it, either.
I got back to the hoosegow on Monday to find a write-up posted on the wall. It seems one of the corrections officers (COs) found some chewing tobacco in the bathroom garbage can, which led to a search. The search turned up a baggie of chew hidden under the bathroom sink. At the bottom of the write-up sheet was written, "NO WORK RELEASE PENDING INVESTIGATION."
In other words, no one goes to work until we find the responsible party.
Of course, nobody wanted to fess up to the crime because they'd lose two days' good-behavior time as well as a day of work release, so the top dog's decision was that nobody would leave. Then, one kid tried to take responsibility, and even though he had brought in tobacco, they would not accept his confession because he's a skinny 17-year-old and they felt he'd been bullied into it. Same thing happened when another young, skinny guy tried to fess up, and you got it--he'd actually brought some in as well.
Since no one big, strong, and older would admit to it, nobody got to go to work yesterday, myself included. Because yesterday was the day after a paid holiday, and I was scheduled to work, I not only lost yesterday's wages, but I will not be paid for New Year's Day either. I will not make overtime this Saturday, either. So, someone else's cowardice cost me over $300 in pay.
Also, the lieutenant decided that since no one would confess or rat out the offenders, he'd just take the two days' good behavior from everyone, again, myself included. You know how you feel when you watch a useless video, and say "There goes two minutes I'll never get back?" Yeah, well, it's two days for me... and I had nothing to do with any of this.
Now, I smoke. I also realize that the Dickinson County Jail is a tobacco-free facility and that being the case, well, I'm just gonna have to suffer on the days I don't work. I've never partaken of tobacco someone else smuggled into the jail. The reason is two-fold: A) I want to do my time and get the hell out ASAP, and B) I know how they smuggle it and want no part of something that's been in someone's rectum. Those are the same reasons I've never smuggled it myself, Part B being modified to "I have to much pride and self-worth to stick something up my ass."
Obvious question: Why didn't I rat them out? Primarily because the only two guys I could absolutely say had anything to do with smuggling were the two that attempted to confess and were rejected. However, if you've ever been in jail, you probably know how well snitches are treated, and I still have a couple weeks left, during which time I'd like to avoid cold water thrown on me in the shower, blanket parties, and midnight smack-downs in the bathroom.
The real bitch of it, of course, is that they're going to search continually for the remainder of the time I'm in jail. There was talk this morning that some of the guys were talking last night about smuggling more in today and tomorrow. See, to some of these assholes who have no good time coming and have several months left anyhow, it's funny to fuck up the other guys. So, odds are better than even that I'll miss more work (my boss is going to crucify me) and lose even more good-behavior time for something in which I've had no part.
Am I furious? You bet your last fuckin' dollar... and I can't do a damned thing about it, either.
Sorry, I had to. I know, I know.....back to the cellar. I'm goin. 
