XLR8R
exhalted master of his nuts
>Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
>Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!
>Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
>International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
>
>Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really
>asked!!!!!.
>
>Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
>A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them
>die.
>
>Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>
>Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
>tracks? (Sweden)
>A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
>
>Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>
>Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
>contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>A: Let's not touch this one.
>
>Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of
>them in
> Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
>A: What did your last slave die of?
>
>Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
>A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da
>is that big country to your
> North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
>Calgary. Come naked.
>
>Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and
>we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
>Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
>is...oh forget it.
> Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and
>in Calgary, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
>Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>A: No, WE don't stink.
>
>Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
>sell it in Canada? (USA)
>A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
>Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
>population is smaller
> than the male population? (Italy)
>A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>
>Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>
>Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
>round?(Germany)
>A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
>illegal.
>
>Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
>name.
> It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains
>of anyone walking close to them.
> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
>go out walking.
>
>Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
>Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!
>Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
>International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)
>
>Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really
>asked!!!!!.
>
>Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
>A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them
>die.
>
>Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
>
>Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad
>tracks? (Sweden)
>A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
>
>Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
>
>Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
>contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>A: Let's not touch this one.
>
>Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of
>them in
> Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
>A: What did your last slave die of?
>
>Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
>A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da
>is that big country to your
> North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
>Calgary. Come naked.
>
>Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and
>we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
>Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
>is...oh forget it.
> Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and
>in Calgary, straight after the hippo
> races. Come naked.
>
>Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>A: No, WE don't stink.
>
>Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
>sell it in Canada? (USA)
>A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
>Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
>population is smaller
> than the male population? (Italy)
>A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>
>Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>
>Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
>round?(Germany)
>A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
>illegal.
>
>Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
>name.
> It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains
>of anyone walking close to them.
> You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you
>go out walking.
>
>Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
