For you football fans:

gomopar440

gomopar440

Livin' my life...one gas station at a time.
Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Detroit Lions.

Q: What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A: To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there!

Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q: What do the Lions and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
 
LOL!

Here are a few more....

Q: How do you get an FSU cheerleader in your dorm room?
A: Grease 'er hips and push like hell

Q: What do you have with 32 FSU cheerleaders in one room?
A: A full set of teeth

A news report came in the other day that the supply shed that contained the text books for FSU's football team had burned down. Bobby Bowden was obviously distraught and was quoted as saying, "It's a shame, they hadn't even been colored in yet."

After Florida State head football coach Bobby Bowden dies and enters the pearly gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Bobby a little two bedroom house with a faded F.S.U. banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, Coach. Most people don't get their own house up here", God says. Bobby looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one setting on the wide right on the hill. It's a huge two story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all of the windows. Miami flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge orange and green Miami banner hangs between the marble columns. "Thanks for the house, God. But, Let me ask you a question. I get this little two bedroom house with a faded F.S.U. banner and Butch Davis gets a mansion with new Miami banners and Hurricane Warning flags flying all over the place. "Why is that, Dadgumit?" God looks at him seriously for a moment and says, "Davis is not dead, that's my house!"

Three men were sentenced to death in a foreign country. This country allowed you to pick your method of execution: electric chair, hanging, or being shot with an air gun loaded with the aids virus.

The first one, a Hokie, said I'll take the hanging. The second one, a Orangemen, said I'll take the chair. The third, a Seminole, said I'll take the aids shot.

The other two looked at him as they approached with the air gun, saying, "Why do you want to suffer like that? Don't you want to get it over with?"
The Seminole was giggling as they gave him his shot, he was still giggling as he asked them to shoot him again, and they did.

As the man with the air gun walked away, the tickled Seminole told the two other condemned men, "I'm wearing a condom."

What do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee? A huddle.

Four Seminole football players in a car, who's driving? The police.

Why can't the Seminole player get into a huddle on the field anymore? It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
T
he FSU football team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor asked the class, "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" All of the players raised their hands. "The appeal," they shouted with Criminole pride.

Q: What do FSU hopefuls usually get on their SATs?
A: Drool.

Q: What is the difference between VT Co-eds and garbage?
A: Garbage gets taken out once a week.

Q: What are the first words out of a FSU graduates' mouth?
A: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

Q: Did you that Doak Cambell Stadium is switching over to artificial turf in 2000?
A: FSU wants to keep their cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.
 
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