Fishy
Omnipotent Seaweasel
DO YOU FART IN BED?
IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD,
LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR
YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S
HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE
WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER
AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH
HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.
HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY
NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT
ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE
THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR
DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE
INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A
MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT
UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY
PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC
WAISTBAND OF HIS
UNERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY
GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND
WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD
CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN
INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS
SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES!
AFTERYEARS OF TORURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY
GOOD.. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS
IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS
FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.HE
SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU". "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS
WIFE. "WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP
FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED." BUT BY THE
GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST
OF THEM BACK IN."
:bwuhaha: :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha:
IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD,
LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR
YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S
HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE
WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER
AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH
HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.
HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY
NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT
ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE
THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR
DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE
INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A
MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT
UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY
PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC
WAISTBAND OF HIS
UNERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY
GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND
WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD
CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOTSTEPS AS HE RAN
INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS
SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES!
AFTERYEARS OF TORURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY
GOOD.. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS
IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS
FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.HE
SAID, "HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT." "ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU". "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" ASKED HIS
WIFE. "WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP
FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED." BUT BY THE
GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST
OF THEM BACK IN."
:bwuhaha: :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha: :bwuhaha:
