Drunked brothers...

[1966D100]

Its currently 2:30 in the morning here and it seems I probably won't get any sleep until day break.

Currently, my brother is out for a "walk" (hopfully that walk doesn't end up at a bar, last thing he needs is even more alcohol) cooling off after having another drunken argument with his girl friend and about his job.

I smelled a bad situation the first instant I heard "Company Christmas party". He went there with his boss, whom is his roommate (thank god a very understanding one), as well as with a friend and his girl friend. From what I understand, since my brother is in managment, there is a certain individual that neither his boss, nor he likes, and som throughout the night as the drinks were slamed down, they tried to avoid this person as much as possible.

Then, it happened, I'm guessing something was said to my brother, about his girlfriend, and my brother, being a naturally proud man sober, is indeed insulted by this comment and shot back with something like "I quit then, lets see your ass run the station" or something to that nature.

Sounds like his girlfriend got frustrated with him, and began to pound them down herself. they get home, no words were exchanged (which is a definet red flag if you know my brother, he always has something to say unless he pissed).

Thats one thing, not holding me back, but is making me aprehensive about going to Japan as a lifestyle. He knows he's an alcoholic, he's admited he has a problem, but he hasn't done anything about it. And he's not one for asking help either.

Which is why I'm sitting up this late, wondering where and when the hell he's going to get back. For those of you who want to correct my spelling, have at'er, I could currently careless at this point.

Either way, I want this addiction of his resolved by the time I live in Japan, I don't want to be worrying about this shit an ocean away. I want to live my life, not live my life babysitting his drunken ass.

Sorry for the rage post here, its just I feel kinda helpless here, thanks for listening guys.

 

[Jr.]

It took my mom 17 years of my life to concur her problem man, every day I thank god for it. Hope the best for you bro man, one drunk dude to another.

 

[68isgr8]

I can understand how you feel D100. Worrying over family isn't fun. But he's got to change for himself. When you do go to Japan, keep in touch with him as much as you can. He has admitted of having a problem, so he isn't in denial, hopefully he'll pull himself together and seek professional therapy. I think it makes a big difference for a person who has a problem knowing their family still cares for them. Having problems causes depression and feeling no-one gives a crap. So do keep in contact!
Best regards,
68

 

[Not A Duster]

My Grandfather was an alchoholic. My wife's Dad was an alcoholic, as is her brother. My boss is a recovered alchoholic & drug abuser...

Go to Japan & live your life. Nobody but your Brother is going to make any changes in his lifestyle. He has to want to do so to succeed.

 

[XLR8R]

unfortunately, you cannot fight another mans demons.

 

[BootHead]

you said it best yourself,

"I don't want to be worrying about this shit an ocean away. I want to live my life, not live my life babysitting his drunken ass."

 

[dodgechargerfan]

unfortunately, you cannot fight another mans demons.

True that.

All you can do is tell him what you think and how his demons affect you. Just state it straight out. Don't argue your point. It is what it is and he has to accept it at face value because your feelings are not something that can be right or wrong. Don't let him tell you that you're being a wussy either. His shit pisses you off and makes you worry for his health and welfare. Period.

Tell him that and then tell he needs to deal with it. NOW.
Offer to help while you can but let him know that you're going to Japan no matter what. As much as his problem affects you, you're not going to let it change your plans.

That's not cold. That's just reality. If you stay to fight his problems, you'll just end up with two messed up lives. Cut bait and you'll at least have a chance to save one and maybe the shock of calling him out onto the carpet will save the other.

 

[Fishy]

Okay they have already said what I was gonna say. As someone who has been there done that all you can do is talk to him and let him know you care. It'll be up to him to change that. Kinda ride his ass about it but not too much that it pisses him off. Just enough that something clicks inside him and he one day goes, "Oh!:shifty:"