That looks hideous!
If I were you, I'd be ashamed to own that car. You've ruined it.
But, because I'm such a nice guy, I'm prepared to spare you the humiliation you'll surely endure by driving such a eyesore. I'll take the car off your hands.
Now, I don't make this kind of offer everyday, I'm putting myself at risk of serious injury by doing this. but you're a valued member here, and I'll help in any way I can.
It's the least I can do.
No need to thank me. I'm doing this out of my generosity toward my fellow human beings, and any gratitude will embarrass me.
Just gas the car up and call me when all your neighbors are asleep, that way no one will know you once owned that tortured automobile. I'll be there as soon as I can.

It looks pretty good.