71_DEPUTY
Clear the track for Johnny Mac because I'm
SYMPTOM-
FAULT-
ACTION-
-Feet cold and wet.
- Glass being held at incorrect angle.
- Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
-Feet warm and wet.
- Improper bladder control.
-Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
-Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
- Glass empty.
- Get someone to buy you another beer
-Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
- You have fallen over backward.
-Have yourself lashed to bar.
-Mouth contains cigarette butts.
-You have fallen forward.
- See above.
-Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
- Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
-Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
-Floor blurred.
-You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
-Get someone to buy you another beer.
-Floor moving.
-You are being carried out.
-Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
-Room seems unusually dark.
-Bar has closed.
-Confirm home address with bartender.
-Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
-Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
-Cover mouth.
-Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
- You are dancing on the table.
- Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
-Beer is crystal-clear.
-It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
- Punch him.
-Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
- You have been in a fight.
-Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
-Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
-You've wandered into the wrong party.
-See if they have free beer.
-Your singing sounds distorted.
- The beer is too weak.
-Have more beer until your voice improves.
-Don't remember the words to the song.
- Beer is just right.
-Play air guitar
FAULT-
ACTION-
-Feet cold and wet.
- Glass being held at incorrect angle.
- Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
-Feet warm and wet.
- Improper bladder control.
-Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
-Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
- Glass empty.
- Get someone to buy you another beer
-Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
- You have fallen over backward.
-Have yourself lashed to bar.
-Mouth contains cigarette butts.
-You have fallen forward.
- See above.
-Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
- Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
-Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
-Floor blurred.
-You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
-Get someone to buy you another beer.
-Floor moving.
-You are being carried out.
-Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
-Room seems unusually dark.
-Bar has closed.
-Confirm home address with bartender.
-Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
-Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
-Cover mouth.
-Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
- You are dancing on the table.
- Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
-Beer is crystal-clear.
-It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
- Punch him.
-Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
- You have been in a fight.
-Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
-Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
-You've wandered into the wrong party.
-See if they have free beer.
-Your singing sounds distorted.
- The beer is too weak.
-Have more beer until your voice improves.
-Don't remember the words to the song.
- Beer is just right.
-Play air guitar