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she says -- why no sex--- he says -- i,m Lactose intolerant

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' The priest...

D oes anyone know about a place called Paterson New Jersey.. i need info on Quest Minerals and Mining. ..it is a coal company at the Pond Creek location .Or if anyone knows anything about this company elsewhere in the US call me at home. now everybody knows ORVILS phone number. i need this info...

A man goes to the Doctors enquiring about a penis enlargement. The Doctor tells him about a pioneering new operation which involves the grafting of part of an elephant trunk on to his member. The man agrees to the operation. One week after the operation the man is sitting in a restraunt...

Hallmark Writers Having a Bad Day Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the he** was I thinking?" ----------------------------------- Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband...

. Cows 2. The Constitution, and 3. The Ten Commandments Cows - Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to...

Triplets A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16...

A NameA woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone..... She approached him and said, "Hello, ..My name is Carmen," "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like...

A recent posting reminded me of the expression, which is usually interpreted as meaning the best, the greatest-a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10; it probably dates way back, but became part of the language in Dudley Moore's movie 10, where the bodacious Bo Derek was the "10". Now, does anyone know...

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well sister, this looks pretty...

Reuters In Russia, sometimes it rains cement Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:17am EDT MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russian air force planes dropped a 25-kg (55-lb) sack of cement on a suburban Moscow home last week while seeding clouds to prevent rain from spoiling a holiday, Russian media said on Tuesday. "A...

I went out today and bought a cake. and said HAPPY FATHERS DAY to myself. and HAPPY FATHERS DAY to you guy,s to. :) and to the ones that have kids and cant see them because of what ever - it,s for you to. :)

Texas Congressman Ron Paul’s presidential campaign had a record fundraising quarter, exceeding its original goal of $12 million by over 50 percent when it raised nearly $20 million during the months of October, November and December. “Only Dr. Paul has the ability to inspire Americans to...

I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube. :bwuhaha:

A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh." "Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "OK then," the man said, and...

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord told him. Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to...

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it...

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total", says the Genie. The Canadian says, "I am a farmer and my son will also...

I SEEthe people from JERSEY lost ntheir 911 number. they know where the 9 is but cant find the eleven.:bwuhaha:

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a large amount of whisky at a local pub. He felt quite sleepy and decided to nap against a tree. As he slept, two female tourists heard his loud snoring. When they found him, one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman...